Block 2

Clearing on a rainy Wednesday post Block 1 exams

We've begun our second block of medical school, titled "Cardiovascular, Renal, and Respiratory Systems". They say that this is when medical school actually begins, and that the previous block, which was a foundational course in biomedical science, was just an extension of undergrad. During our first lecture today, the prof-doc said that what we learn today will enable us to help patients 10 years down the line. My colleagues and I looked at each other in hopes that we would remember what we would learn today in 10 years time.

Reflections on the first block are many. It's still scary to be this entrenched in something and know that I'm going to be here for many years. I don't know why it is hard for me to commit to life as a physician, but I think it's because I like to hold onto change. Change has been the only constant in my life (and may be the only constant in all lives), but I have been one to particularly embrace change. Thus the idea that I am beginning my life as a physician and that there is no turning back or changing course, is hard for me to fully accept. It may be true, but I think that the best way for me to go about it is to envision the next 7-9 years of my life as the period in which I study medicine and become a physician. I can embrace this- it seems manageable. But to envision my whole life from now on out it is too overwhelming.

So the first block of medical school was great. Challenging, sure, but also very productive and exciting. I could feel myself growing as an individual, learning to think in ways that I hadn't before, making friends that I hope to keep for many years, and getting into a routine of school, exercise, fun, gardening, and random things. There is a balance here that I've been working to find, and my life as it has been is something that I feel can be sustained for a number of years. Don't get me wrong, I was very excited for a four day weekend, but I'm also happy to be back at school.

Study scene in the yurt-boat

Something I hope to change from the first block is my level of focus. I often found myself studying with half my consciousness in another place. Being more deliberate about when I'm studying, and also when I'm not studying, will help me stay more in tune. I also want to stay aware of the larger picture: the weeks of learning and not just the days of each block. I want to remember that most things will eventually come together, and that if I can't immediately understand the larger picture, I eventually will. There is a certain amount of trust involved here. I can only believe that the people designing our curriculum have a plan for how this stuff all relates.

Block 1 party scene: arrival in Santa Monica

So I'm ready for this next block- I feel more comfortable and aware.